One of those questions that continues to confound psychologists is why women enjoy “rape” fantasies, known in the parlance as “forceful submission fantasies.”
Luckily, thanks to recent research published in The Journal of Sex, we’re now closer to finding out why socially powerful women in particular enjoy fantasizing about submitting to a dominant man.
It isn’t news to anyone that sex is NOT a politically correct activity. Still, it’s rather strange that, given the influence of modern feminism, women continue to fantasize about a Rhett Butler who won’t take no for an answer.
What would powerful, successful women find arousing about submitting to a lover with only one thing on his mind? These women are used to being in control, and you’d expect them to be in control in the bedroom…
…But you’d be wrong.
Dr. Patricia Hawley and William Hensley from the University of Kansas wanted to find out more. They asked nearly a thousand college students of both genders to read a series of erotic vignettes and rate them based on how aroused they became.
Here’s a sample of what the women read.
“...Your breathing quickens as you attempt to draw away, but he grasps your arm like a vice and it sends a shudder through your body. He pins you against the wall and presses his mouth firmly against yours. As your resistance fades, it becomes clear to you that this is only going one way...” [Submission Fantasy]
“...His breathing quickens as he attempts to draw away, but you grasp his arm like a vice...” [Domination Fantasy]
Men read identical scenes, but with the gender pronouns switched.
Hawley and Hensley discovered that nearly everyone preferred the submission fantasies to the domination fantasies. Surprisingly, men enjoyed being dominated just as much or more than women.
But did socially powerful men like being dominated more than ordinary or less powerful men? We’d expect this to be the case, based on media reports of powerful politicians engaging in degrading sexual acts.
But that simply isn’t the case.
Socially powerful men enjoy submitting in the bedroom just as much as men do in general, but they’re not unique in that aspect. The only place where they do stand out is by preferring scenarios in which they dominate their sexual partner a bit more than men in general.
However, that isn’t the case for socially dominant women.
The study showed that socially dominant women did express a higher preference for submission fantasies compared to women in general.
Why?
Well, these women were used to being powerful and influential in their daily lives. It’s not a far leap for them to imagine that, sexually, they were so irresistible that their sexual allure literally made men lose control.
Also, socially dominant women tend to seek similarly dominant men as mates. A socially dominant alpha male is the only man who could have the power to dominate her in the bedroom. Mere beta males would end up as sexual playthings, not nearly exciting enough to keep her attention.
Hawley concludes that, for both sexes, the use of force per se is not what makes such “forceful submission fantasies” appealing. Rather, it’s the “ardent, passionate pursuit” driven by desire.
What does this research mean for us?
First of all, just because a woman is a tiger in the boardroom doesn’t mean that she’ll be a tiger in the bedroom. She may secretly be yearning for a man who can take the lead sexually.
Similarly, there’s nothing wrong with a guy wanting a woman to take the lead and be sexually aggressive every once in a while. The average guy likes the idea of a sexual encounter with an uninhibited woman who unleashes her torrid passion on him.
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